Karna wonders about that while he takes a seat. And maybe luckily for Chuya, the Big Fluff that Karna has is almost carefully filtered behind him like the biggest, fluffiest pillow you'd ever see. (Karna did that on purpose.) ] Died...you died. You died...
Is that what the powerpoint meant...? [ AAAAAAAAA ] I can confirm it. For three days after your initial disappearance, I did not feel your presence at all. [ There's a pause as he looks at his hand, remembering how it almost instantly began to lose form after. ] I remained in my spirit form until just now.
Master, how did you die? ...Where did you go that I could not come to protect you? [ tbh karna would have sooner sacrificed himself but since he couldn't be there wtf ]
[ what is he even talking about? does chuya even know what a powerpoint is? i mean, he's from modern times, but has he even seen one before... mysteries...
the fluff is comfortable, though, and his body still feels weak and sore; so he'll lean back and settle into it, tipping the bottle to take another swig. ] I see.
[ there's a short pause, as he puts the facts together -- gone for three days, then somehow alive again, with his body battered, but not in a particularly bad shape. he's had much worse; this isn't the kind of damage it'd take to kill him. ]
Err... a bomb, I'm pretty sure. It happened in an instant -- I took something I shouldn't have, and the next second... [ KABOOM. you know. ] Shut up, I can protect myself. I might've acted a bit haughty, but that's just because people I was with were irritating.
[ Not wanting to disrupt Chuya as he processes everything, Karna moves just slightly to pick up the wine glass he brought (just in case) but practically drops it when he's told that his Master pretty much EXPLODED!!! ]
...You... [ ??? ] ...Master, you... ... ... [ He actually caught the wine glass and set it aside, safely. ] You say you can protect yourself but if that were true, you would not have spontaneously blown up as you say you did. You were unable to think rationally because of the people you were with and as a result, you suffered and died. [ JUST STATING FACTS!!! ] Is that not what you just said, Master?
Regardless, had I been there, I could have at least buffered these people from you or at least taken what you tried to steal and died in your place. [ lil karna thingz ]
[ HE DIDN'T NEED THIS DRAG RIGHT AFTER HIS OWN GOT DAM DEATH ]
I -- fine, I was an idiot. Happy? I took the bomb despite not knowing what it was, exactly; I should've considered the danger, but... [ well, once adrenaline sets in, he stops thinking rationally. all of that combined with a stressful situation, and you've got yourself one (1) chuya nakahara charging headfirst into everything.
danger included. ]
I could've done shit differently, but that's water under the bridge. I'm... alive, right? So that's what matters. [ though he's still not sure just how... alive... you can be... after death? this is something he hasn't figured out yet.
he feels fine. he breathes. he's hurting. is that alive enough? ]
Fuck off, I don't want anyone jumping in and sacrificing themselves for me. [ the line of bodybags his subordinates had been put into after q's attack was Bad Enough. ] If you wanna be a god damn hero, then keep yourself alive along with others. But even better, stop giving a shit.
No. I am not happy about that, Master. [ HOW COULD HE BE HAPPY ABOUT HIS MASTER DYING!!! Still...he IS alive and that's what matters but Karna can't help but feel as if something is off about all of it.
He'll let Chuya finish before speaking himself, as usual. There's something he should clarify however, he's not entirely convinced that he understand what Karna means when he says he would protect (and die) for him. ] It's not that, Master.
...Chuya. You are my Master and I am your Servant, you want to live and have a life, don't you? As your servant, I will protect you and your wishes at any cost and any means necessary because you are my Master. There's no other reason.
[ It's so ingrained into Karna it's hard for him to let go of that mentality but well.........there are those command seals...who knows...... ]
[ this is... admittedly more irritating than he expected. karna seems so determined to... sacrifice everything for him, and the reason for that goes right over his head. ]
I became your Master to keep you alive, so what the hell are you talking about? You're of no use to me dead. [ you can't do 5 am wine runs if you're dead...
... which isn't actually why he says all of this, but. ]
My life isn't worth that kind of sacrifice. [ he's been raised as a weapon of mass destruction; told he won't live past a certain age, anyway, and that sacrificing everything for the sake of mafia was his only goal. he's been taught to die -- so why... ? ] If you think of me as an item, that'll be easier for you to accept. And if you still refuse to listen, I've got a way of making you. At any rate... I don't want your life in my hands.
[ He's not wrong...but his brow furrows for a moment in thought. The way Chuya thinks is unlike his previous Masters...he's not scared or unable to take care of himself like Jinako, he's not simply...not there like his Red Faction master either.
Admittedly, he's not sure how he's displeasing him but maybe it's just because he's Karna? A hard to handle Servant? STILL. What Chuya just said doesn't sit well with him either -- ] What deems that? I admit, I'm not always the best judge of someone's character...to me, everyone is equal.
Me included and... [ This is all oddly familiar for him!! ] I am your Servant. Because you are my Master, it is a natural thing for me to do to protect you, whether you believe your life worth it or not.
...I won't cast away my life so easily, that would mean leaving you alone without a protector. However, as long as you are alive, I will continue to be your guardian. [ Is this what the kids call "deja-vu". ] If you wish to use one of your command seals to change my way of thinking then that is your right, Chuya.
Well, that's also bullshit. Some lives are worth more than others -- it all depends on the impact you're capable of making.
[ and your status, and your position, though nobody is above is boss, in his head; not even in a place where mori doesn't... exist. ] Think of it this way -- if I'm to stay alive, the impact on the world as a whole will be negative. Are you alright with that?
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel bad about anything I've done. All I'm saying is, I'm not particularly profitable to anyone but my boss, and he's not here. [ he kills hundreds, thousands, his power something to be used for bad, not good; ends lives indiscriminately, as if he has the right to judge who deserves to live and who doesn't.
as if mori does. ]
I don't want to go that far, because you're your own person, and you can think whatever the fuck you want. I'm only doing this in exchange for money -- I don't need your protection, and I don't need you to guard me. If you do, do it for your own sake. Think selfishly.
Anyway, Karna takes a long moment to think. He looks at Chuya then away from him... ] Yes. I am loyal to no one but you, whether you are a "good" or "bad" person, whether your impact would be "positive" or "negative" has nothing to do with it. If that's how you are, then that is how you will be.
[ He can say that much but as for the rest...his head lowers as he admits that what Chuya asks of him, is simply something almost impossible for someone like Karna. ] I cannot do that. To be selfish and act selfishly for me would be dishonoring my Father's name. [ His face becomes...Unsure after that however, casting a sideways glance towards Chuya. ??? ??? ??? ] Is that an order? Or do you simply wish for me to be a different way?
Why? You've known me for what, a week? Two? The contract we made was improvised and rushed, too, so why... ?
[ he's... just really confused?? in the mafia, loyalty is gained through years of work and violence; he had to be raised into his devotion, groomed to kill and die for the organization's sake, spent his entire life listening to poison.
and yet, karna claims that no matter what he does -- good, bad, large or small scale -- he'll remain by his side. it's... not something he can accept, either, if only because of his own upbringing. ]
That's the kind of thinking that gets you killed, you know. If someone says they're a murderer, you either run or kill them before they can do any more harm. That's what a hero would do, anyway. By supporting me, you're becoming the villain of your own story. [ and how is that not disgraceful to your father??
with a sigh, he raises his hand to wave the other off. ] If making it an 'order' is what it takes for you to consider it, then so be it. It's an order.
Because you're my Master. [ WHAT DOES CHUYA NOT GET LISTEN
Karna won't say more than that this time -- one word too many or one word too few, he needs to say what he wants with the right amount. Or so he has learned. ] To break my loyalty to you simply because you've deemed yourself "negative" would be... [ Wrong. ] not something I can do.
But, I'll listen to your order then. [ There is the longest pause to exist in the entire world. ] ...Master. How exactly should I be selfish? [ HE HAS NO IDEA HOW ]
How hypocritical. [ but he sneers -- if karna wants to fall in this particular cesspool, then so be it.
he's not going to tell him what to do; 'master' is a title he hasn't yet fully accepted. ] Don't regret it later, is what I'm saying. You made the contract with me without knowing what kind of a person I am, and it's fine if ties are severed. I'll supply you with mana, or whatever, and you'll pay me, and that's all I require.
[ he's giving karna options here? he might not be a good person, but corrupting heroes is low on his list of priorities; he's not a manipulative bastard like most people in the mafia, either. but, if karna devotes himself to his cause -- whatever it may be -- he fully intends to make use of his assets, however awful it might be. ]
Look out for yourself. Think of yourself first. If a diffcult situation arises, your first thought should be of your own well-being. Do you get it yet? It's not that difficult.
so assblasted it took me ten hours to do this reply
...No...it's hard for me to understand it, after all.
[ Selfish, wanting things for yourself and somehow depriving someone else of that same something. It's not a concept that he understands or can even begin to understand. LET ALONE DO
He's really puzzled by this and tries to imagine scenarios of him being "selfish" and thinking of his own survival, before others. But no matter how many times he thinks about it, if it were Chuya who's life was in danger...he would protect him at any cost and at any means. gay......... ]
Will you give me an example? So I can understand what it's like to be selfish. [ It's like teaching a Kindergartner. ]
IT TOOK ME TWO TIMES THAT but thats bc i was in a coma
If you've been raised with a different mindset, it can't be helped. It'll take you a while, but you're free from your old obligations here.
[ there's no "grail war" and chuya is definitely capable of protecting himself just fine (sans... from random, alien bombs, apparently) so why should karna care?
in other words... karna can't let these gay thoughts catch him!!! ]
Ugh, what are you, 5? Haven't you ever experienced selfishness? [ even... if it wasn't karna doing it. other people must've surely taken advantage of him, considering how good-natured he is. still... chuya supposes he can think of something. ] Then, let's see. Consider this an order, too. If you see someone in danger, but saving them would risk your life, don't. I'm not saying that person would be me -- I know you'd jump in anyway. But other people should be of no consequence to you, as long as you're mine.
[ Karna may want to protect those that cannot protect themselves, he may even want to fight for those that want to live and are struggling to do so without his help -- but above all of those others, his Master comes first. If he had been without a Master as he had been when he followed Edison then it probably would have been a different mindset but... ]
I'll do my best to fulfill these orders then, Master. If there's anything else that you would require of me to be a better Servant then you need only order it.
...However, I do have one concern. [ just one teensy tiny little thing ] Please do not become a "couch potato". Even if it's only a little, do get some exercise.
[ ARE YOU CALLING HIM FAT, KARNA?? he is... a little buzzed, though, so he'll throw his leg up dramatically and point to it, matter-of-factly. ] I'll have you know I never skip out on leg day. And also,
[ chuya pls no. except chuya yes, as he drags his vest up to reveal his stomach. it's... not that muscular, but it's toned? HE'S NOT JINAKO!!
anyway, he pats his abdomen proudly. ]
I'll be fine, so you don't need to worry about me!
Every time I see you, you're on the couch drinking wine. You don't move very much...master. I'm concerned.
[ MAYBE HE IS!!! He is. ] Ah. [ Chuya gets drunk kind of fast...doesn't he? Karna seems to note that for the future but he'll note how easy his master is showing him that he's not fat. WELL — ]
As long as you maintain this and this. [ As he says that, he seems to slap Chuya's leg and then his stomach. NOT OVERLY HARD OR ANYTHING but just a pat then another pat. ] I will take care to start preparing you meals.
[ HUFFS!! he's only had a few sips of wine but... he's definitely already drunk. buzzed doesn't even begin to explain this, honestly. there's just no getting tipsy when your alcohol tolerance is literally in the negatives...........
thanks for the encouragement, though, karna. he looks pleased with himself when the other pats his legs and stomach, because he worked hard for this?
or something. he had to, really, no choice there. ]
'course! Though I'll have to find people to kill first. [ how else do you maintain figure if not via murder? ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no more sad dogs!! look at him he has anxiety
Karna wonders about that while he takes a seat. And maybe luckily for Chuya, the Big Fluff that Karna has is almost carefully filtered behind him like the biggest, fluffiest pillow you'd ever see. (Karna did that on purpose.) ] Died...you died. You died...
Is that what the powerpoint meant...? [ AAAAAAAAA ] I can confirm it. For three days after your initial disappearance, I did not feel your presence at all. [ There's a pause as he looks at his hand, remembering how it almost instantly began to lose form after. ] I remained in my spirit form until just now.
Master, how did you die? ...Where did you go that I could not come to protect you? [ tbh karna would have sooner sacrificed himself but since he couldn't be there wtf ]
NO MORE ANXIETY
[ what is he even talking about? does chuya even know what a powerpoint is? i mean, he's from modern times, but has he even seen one before... mysteries...
the fluff is comfortable, though, and his body still feels weak and sore; so he'll lean back and settle into it, tipping the bottle to take another swig. ] I see.
[ there's a short pause, as he puts the facts together -- gone for three days, then somehow alive again, with his body battered, but not in a particularly bad shape. he's had much worse; this isn't the kind of damage it'd take to kill him. ]
Err... a bomb, I'm pretty sure. It happened in an instant -- I took something I shouldn't have, and the next second... [ KABOOM. you know. ] Shut up, I can protect myself. I might've acted a bit haughty, but that's just because people I was with were irritating.
[ MISS ME WITH THIS GAY SHIT ]
why is chuya this way
...You... [ ??? ] ...Master, you... ... ... [ He actually caught the wine glass and set it aside, safely. ] You say you can protect yourself but if that were true, you would not have spontaneously blown up as you say you did. You were unable to think rationally because of the people you were with and as a result, you suffered and died. [ JUST STATING FACTS!!! ] Is that not what you just said, Master?
Regardless, had I been there, I could have at least buffered these people from you or at least taken what you tried to steal and died in your place. [ lil karna thingz ]
WHY IS KARNA CALLIGN HIM OUT LIKE THIS!!!!!!!!!!
I -- fine, I was an idiot. Happy? I took the bomb despite not knowing what it was, exactly; I should've considered the danger, but... [ well, once adrenaline sets in, he stops thinking rationally. all of that combined with a stressful situation, and you've got yourself one (1) chuya nakahara charging headfirst into everything.
danger included. ]
I could've done shit differently, but that's water under the bridge. I'm... alive, right? So that's what matters. [ though he's still not sure just how... alive... you can be... after death? this is something he hasn't figured out yet.
he feels fine. he breathes. he's hurting. is that alive enough? ]
Fuck off, I don't want anyone jumping in and sacrificing themselves for me. [ the line of bodybags his subordinates had been put into after q's attack was Bad Enough. ] If you wanna be a god damn hero, then keep yourself alive along with others. But even better, stop giving a shit.
[ HE'S TIRED OF THESE SHOUNENS ]
because he must
He'll let Chuya finish before speaking himself, as usual. There's something he should clarify however, he's not entirely convinced that he understand what Karna means when he says he would protect (and die) for him. ] It's not that, Master.
...Chuya. You are my Master and I am your Servant, you want to live and have a life, don't you? As your servant, I will protect you and your wishes at any cost and any means necessary because you are my Master. There's no other reason.
[ It's so ingrained into Karna it's hard for him to let go of that mentality but well.........there are those command seals...who knows...... ]
cavemanspongebob.png
[ this is... admittedly more irritating than he expected. karna seems so determined to... sacrifice everything for him, and the reason for that goes right over his head. ]
I became your Master to keep you alive, so what the hell are you talking about? You're of no use to me dead. [ you can't do 5 am wine runs if you're dead...
... which isn't actually why he says all of this, but. ]
My life isn't worth that kind of sacrifice. [ he's been raised as a weapon of mass destruction; told he won't live past a certain age, anyway, and that sacrificing everything for the sake of mafia was his only goal. he's been taught to die -- so why... ? ] If you think of me as an item, that'll be easier for you to accept. And if you still refuse to listen, I've got a way of making you. At any rate... I don't want your life in my hands.
NEOGUH
[ He's not wrong...but his brow furrows for a moment in thought. The way Chuya thinks is unlike his previous Masters...he's not scared or unable to take care of himself like Jinako, he's not simply...not there like his Red Faction master either.
Admittedly, he's not sure how he's displeasing him but maybe it's just because he's Karna? A hard to handle Servant? STILL. What Chuya just said doesn't sit well with him either -- ] What deems that? I admit, I'm not always the best judge of someone's character...to me, everyone is equal.
Me included and... [ This is all oddly familiar for him!! ] I am your Servant. Because you are my Master, it is a natural thing for me to do to protect you, whether you believe your life worth it or not.
...I won't cast away my life so easily, that would mean leaving you alone without a protector. However, as long as you are alive, I will continue to be your guardian. [ Is this what the kids call "deja-vu". ] If you wish to use one of your command seals to change my way of thinking then that is your right, Chuya.
SLAMS FISTS ON THE TABLE
[ and your status, and your position, though nobody is above is boss, in his head; not even in a place where mori doesn't... exist. ] Think of it this way -- if I'm to stay alive, the impact on the world as a whole will be negative. Are you alright with that?
Don't get me wrong, I don't feel bad about anything I've done. All I'm saying is, I'm not particularly profitable to anyone but my boss, and he's not here. [ he kills hundreds, thousands, his power something to be used for bad, not good; ends lives indiscriminately, as if he has the right to judge who deserves to live and who doesn't.
as if mori does. ]
I don't want to go that far, because you're your own person, and you can think whatever the fuck you want. I'm only doing this in exchange for money -- I don't need your protection, and I don't need you to guard me. If you do, do it for your own sake. Think selfishly.
IM HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS
Anyway, Karna takes a long moment to think. He looks at Chuya then away from him... ] Yes. I am loyal to no one but you, whether you are a "good" or "bad" person, whether your impact would be "positive" or "negative" has nothing to do with it. If that's how you are, then that is how you will be.
[ He can say that much but as for the rest...his head lowers as he admits that what Chuya asks of him, is simply something almost impossible for someone like Karna. ] I cannot do that. To be selfish and act selfishly for me would be dishonoring my Father's name. [ His face becomes...Unsure after that however, casting a sideways glance towards Chuya. ??? ??? ??? ] Is that an order? Or do you simply wish for me to be a different way?
SO DOES KARNA... PROBABLY
[ he's... just really confused?? in the mafia, loyalty is gained through years of work and violence; he had to be raised into his devotion, groomed to kill and die for the organization's sake, spent his entire life listening to poison.
and yet, karna claims that no matter what he does -- good, bad, large or small scale -- he'll remain by his side. it's... not something he can accept, either, if only because of his own upbringing. ]
That's the kind of thinking that gets you killed, you know. If someone says they're a murderer, you either run or kill them before they can do any more harm. That's what a hero would do, anyway. By supporting me, you're becoming the villain of your own story. [ and how is that not disgraceful to your father??
with a sigh, he raises his hand to wave the other off. ] If making it an 'order' is what it takes for you to consider it, then so be it. It's an order.
LOOK, maybe he is
Karna won't say more than that this time -- one word too many or one word too few, he needs to say what he wants with the right amount. Or so he has learned. ] To break my loyalty to you simply because you've deemed yourself "negative" would be... [ Wrong. ] not something I can do.
But, I'll listen to your order then. [ There is the longest pause to exist in the entire world. ] ...Master. How exactly should I be selfish? [ HE HAS NO IDEA HOW ]
i hope u wake up 2 assblast
he's not going to tell him what to do; 'master' is a title he hasn't yet fully accepted. ] Don't regret it later, is what I'm saying. You made the contract with me without knowing what kind of a person I am, and it's fine if ties are severed. I'll supply you with mana, or whatever, and you'll pay me, and that's all I require.
[ he's giving karna options here? he might not be a good person, but corrupting heroes is low on his list of priorities; he's not a manipulative bastard like most people in the mafia, either. but, if karna devotes himself to his cause -- whatever it may be -- he fully intends to make use of his assets, however awful it might be. ]
Look out for yourself. Think of yourself first. If a diffcult situation arises, your first thought should be of your own well-being. Do you get it yet? It's not that difficult.
so assblasted it took me ten hours to do this reply
[ Selfish, wanting things for yourself and somehow depriving someone else of that same something. It's not a concept that he understands or can even begin to understand. LET ALONE DO
He's really puzzled by this and tries to imagine scenarios of him being "selfish" and thinking of his own survival, before others. But no matter how many times he thinks about it, if it were Chuya who's life was in danger...he would protect him at any cost and at any means. gay......... ]
Will you give me an example? So I can understand what it's like to be selfish. [ It's like teaching a Kindergartner. ]
IT TOOK ME TWO TIMES THAT but thats bc i was in a coma
[ there's no "grail war" and chuya is definitely capable of protecting himself just fine (sans... from random, alien bombs, apparently) so why should karna care?
in other words... karna can't let these gay thoughts catch him!!! ]
Ugh, what are you, 5? Haven't you ever experienced selfishness? [ even... if it wasn't karna doing it. other people must've surely taken advantage of him, considering how good-natured he is. still... chuya supposes he can think of something. ] Then, let's see. Consider this an order, too. If you see someone in danger, but saving them would risk your life, don't. I'm not saying that person would be me -- I know you'd jump in anyway. But other people should be of no consequence to you, as long as you're mine.
where have i been at for 4 days
[ Karna may want to protect those that cannot protect themselves, he may even want to fight for those that want to live and are struggling to do so without his help -- but above all of those others, his Master comes first. If he had been without a Master as he had been when he followed Edison then it probably would have been a different mindset but... ]
I'll do my best to fulfill these orders then, Master. If there's anything else that you would require of me to be a better Servant then you need only order it.
...However, I do have one concern. [ just one teensy tiny little thing ] Please do not become a "couch potato". Even if it's only a little, do get some exercise.
UGH BANGS ON YOUR DOORS
[ ARE YOU CALLING HIM FAT, KARNA?? he is... a little buzzed, though, so he'll throw his leg up dramatically and point to it, matter-of-factly. ] I'll have you know I never skip out on leg day. And also,
[ chuya pls no. except chuya yes, as he drags his vest up to reveal his stomach. it's... not that muscular, but it's toned? HE'S NOT JINAKO!!
anyway, he pats his abdomen proudly. ]
I'll be fine, so you don't need to worry about me!
no subject
[ MAYBE HE IS!!! He is. ] Ah. [ Chuya gets drunk kind of fast...doesn't he? Karna seems to note that for the future but he'll note how easy his master is showing him that he's not fat. WELL — ]
As long as you maintain this and this. [ As he says that, he seems to slap Chuya's leg and then his stomach. NOT OVERLY HARD OR ANYTHING but just a pat then another pat. ] I will take care to start preparing you meals.
no subject
[ HUFFS!! he's only had a few sips of wine but... he's definitely already drunk. buzzed doesn't even begin to explain this, honestly. there's just no getting tipsy when your alcohol tolerance is literally in the negatives...........
thanks for the encouragement, though, karna. he looks pleased with himself when the other pats his legs and stomach, because he worked hard for this?
or something. he had to, really, no choice there. ]
'course! Though I'll have to find people to kill first. [ how else do you maintain figure if not via murder? ]